Feb 25, 2011

@MissKalelCullen Open Letter from a Beauty Guru

If you watch YouTube videos and are into make up chances are you know what a Beauty Guru is- an expert who posts videos about beauty and fashion.   I have been watching different Guru's for years now, and you tend to figure out which ones are legit and which ones aren't.   One of the girls I like to follow is Kalel Cullen.   She is refreshing, honest and not afraid to admit when she in unsure of a product or how something works.   i know she gets trashed but she also has loyal watchers who follow her videos and support her.   I admire her honesty and I'm not sure why people hate on her so much- if they don't like what she has to say they can just stop watching her videos!   I just feel like I need ot pass this on so people can see that when they leave nasty comments about a person's videos on YouTube it is not a video they are hurting- it is a real person.   

I have enjoyed watching her makeup and haul videos and she recently got the CUTEST cat (and I don't usually LIKE cats!) that she named Kabuki- you can watch videos about her cat here.   Look, everyone goes through times when they don't know what they want to do with their life and what is the best choice for them. She posted a video questioning her future and the negativity that came roaring back at her for it was astounding.   Why are people hating on that?   At the end of the day she is doing something she loves doing (youtube guru vids) and following her current path.   it frustrates me that instead of celebrating the fact that she is a great guru and fun, charismatic, well intentioned, people instead bash her whenever she hesitates or seems to make a mistake.   Obviously there was some sort of backlash against her for using a 'stage name' and posting the video because she tweeted about an open note she posted on Facebook- 
Kalel Cullen (@MissKalelCullen)
2/22/11 6:24 PM
Please read: http://on.fb.me/fCZEGI

and then she tweeted that she was scared about posting it-
Kalel Cullen (@MissKalelCullen)
2/22/11 6:21 PM
Just wrote a 3 page letter to everyone... sigh. Scared to post it, but I'm going to.
But she did post it- so here it is:

2/22/2011




by Kalel Cullen on Tuesday, February 22, 2011 at 6:23pm

I hate that I get punished for being an upfront and real person towards my viewers. 

Sure, I could hit record and act like I'm the coolest, prettiest, most confident girl in the world with no problems. That would surely avert the majority of the hatred that I receive, but that's not who I am and that's not how I choose to portray myself. I talk about things that maybe I shouldn't because I want people to know that they're not alone in these situations. Girls THRIVE on attempting to appear like their lives are perfect; as if they received some golden book on "How To Live Life: The Perfect Way" at birth and have their crystal-encrusted bookmarks right in place. And to be frank, it's bullshit. No one's life is perfect and no one should criticize someone else because maybe their not quite where society tells them they should be. Just because someone isn't doing something the way YOU would do something, doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. We've been conformed by mankind to think this way, and it's not right. 

Sometimes I want to slap myself for being so open with my viewers. I have told my viewers things that I know I shouldn't have. My insecurities, my personal secrets, my weaknesses, how I struggled to be accepted by girls in school, how I told a few pointless white lies... etc. All of these things are thrown into my face on a daily basis. I'm accused of lying about this, lying about that... doing this, doing that... and it makes me sad. My words are twisted and manipulated in every single video I post; comments are posted about my "ulterior motives" in all that I do and say. Despite what some people may think, I am not a liar and I am not a bad person.

But... but... your name is NOT Kalel Cullen, here is proof! You're right. My name's not Kalel Cullen. But that's what I chose to go by. It's the internet. Kalel Cullen is the most fictitious, fun name I could think of- so I chose it. I told a few MINOR, INSIGNIFICANT white lies because I was literally expecting to get 10 views on my videos so I didn't think much of it. I was just goofing around, having a good time. I also didn't think strangers would want to hunt me down and kill me just because I chose to go by an alias. I said it was my legal name because honestly, I thought it would end the debate over what my real name is. That, and I considered it a wise choice for safety reasons. I was receiving threatening emails and people were doing very strange things, such as calling up my work and requesting information about me. I really didn't want my real name out there. There are a lot of crazy people in this world. It's hard for people who don't make videos to grasp the concept that it's VERY easy to make mistakes on camera. You can say something that you don't think anything of... but then ONE person can twist it and thousands will follow. And then before you know it-BAM, that's the truth and your word means nothing over the crowd's. 

Sure I have lied, as everyone has... but I'm NOT a liar. If I were a liar I would never in a million years write a letter such as this one. People can say I continue to lie about this and about that... but they are honestly confused and misinformed. If there is a question about something, ask me. I will give you a straight-forward answer. But don't assume things and spread lies. I love my viewers so much, but I wish they would lower my pedestal and realize that I am just the same as them. I'm an ordinary girl with a big heart and big dreams. I make mistakes. I have bad hair days. I get zits. I make poor decisions and learn from them. But I'll never understand how people talk about me as if they have security cameras set up in my place. Like they know every single thing I do, every decision I make, everything I say. It's great to think you're close enough to me that you know everything about my life. However, in reality... you know next to nothing.  `

I wrote this because I care about my viewers. I don't just post videos for the money. Sure, it's GREAT making money doing something I love. But I genuinely care about my viewers. I spend at least 3 hours a day reading every single comment/message and responding to hundreds. Your feedback is important to me. I don't even delete ANY comments. I let people say what they wish to say about me. I just wish it would be a little more realistic. I'm not an angel who can do and say everything perfectly. I'm sorry that I pronounce palette funny and that my hair looks bad today. I'd be lying if I said the comments didn't hurt my feelings, because they do. Plus I hate that my family has to see them... but I guess that's just life. You can't censor life. And I know... I know. "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen" otherwise stated, "If you can't handle YouTube haters, just quit". But I'll never quit. I could cry myself to sleep every night... but I won't quit. Because I know there will always be people out there who love watching my videos and if it makes their day better... well, then it's all worth it to me. 

In case some of you are lost, this whole letter was sparked after reading the comments on my latest vlog where I talked about my confusion with deciding what I want to do with my life. I could plaster on a smile and say something that would get me praise such as, "I'm going to go back to school to become a kindergarten teacher!". But NO- I don't know what I want to do with my life. But I know that I'm on the right track. People can tell me how stupid I am, that YouTube isn't a "real job", how I'm making poor choices for myself... and even that I don't know how to manage my money. But they don't know. Only I can know what's best for me and my life. I believe I am on the right path for me. College is GREAT. It's a very safe and smart choice for many. But right now, I don't think it's something I want to do. I want to continue to post videos and expand my beauty education through practice, research, networking and getting guidance from my corporate connections, or the "beauty industry idols" as I call them :) And well, if that doesn't end up putting my foot in the door somewhere... well... THEN you can call me an idiot :P

I'm not a perfect person, and I've never claimed to be one. I've said and done things that I regret and that I'd love to take back. But I can't. All I can do is move on and hope that people can too. I know I didn't have to write this letter, but I just wanted you all to know what was on my mind. 

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