Oct 2, 2010

Glee - Britney/Brittany (Britney Spears episode)

Yayyyy!   So many of my favorite things in one episode I barely know where to start!   I just watched the 2nd episode of Season 2 and am going to rewatch it now so I can comment as it plays- every second I had a great comment or thought but couldn't stop to write it down because I was so into the show!   I know there are a few obvious let downs but we'll get to that.   Buckle up and get comfy.

Ok, so there was a quick boring 'Here's what happened on Glee' thingy, honestly, the intro from Jacob last week was brilliant, this one was kinda boring, but it's ok.   Mt. Schu writes 'Christopher Cross' on the board and asks the kids who he is...Brittany says 'He discovered America'...and Mr. Schu launches into an explanation of why the song he wrote will be great for the kids to perform, but they start rumbling right away...Finn 'How can you get caught between the moon and New York City, they're like a hundred miles apart'...Kurt brings up the idea of losing the boring classics and doing something that personifies pop incarnate- Britney Spears! 'There is a burgeoning facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members...". (Did Kurt use the term 'wait for it' as in HIMYM Barney's wait for it- a.k.a. NPH who was a guest star on Glee? Love it!)

Everyone totally wants to do Britney...until Brittany says ;I don't want to do Britney' and explains to the shocked Glee kids that 'my name is also Britney Spears.   Brittany Susan Pierce.   Brittany S. Peirce. I've lived my entire life in Britney Spears shadow, I will never be as talented or as famous.   I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee club to remain a place where I Brittany S. Pierce can escape the torment of Britney Spears'.

I am jumping ahead, and not narrating everything, because honestly, just watch it yourself.   However a few things jumped out at me:
'We mixed the red grapes and the green grapes together and just ate them- it was madness, sheer madness' Emma tells Mr. Schu about why Carl helps her with her obsessiveness.

JOHN STAMOS.   Still hot (What?  I grew up with Full House and Uncle Jesse).   I would like to know if he can be my dentist, where do I sign up and how come none of my dentists ever had such a beautiful office as he does?

Jacob.   Gross- why did we need to see him as a stereotypical Jew with a Jew-fro and a nasty habit of wanking to thoughts of Rachel berry- when he is naked in the library?   And I HATED his 'special effects' during the Homecoming performance.   Ryan Murphy- you make sure your gay characters receive proper respect, please stop stereotyping religions :)

Why did Miss Biest randomly allow Finn and Artie onto the football team with almost no back story when she was so adamantly against it last week?


Brittany 'I don't brush my teeth, I rinse my mouth with soda after I eat, I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a real doctor'.

Brittany needs dental work and the writers awkwardly added John Stamos into the school by having him do dental checkups on the Glee kids- so Brittany is sitting in his chair and comments 'This room looks like the one on that space ship where I got probed'.   Then she gets anaesthesia...(I'm going to put you under with a little general anaesthesia says Carl.   Like roofies?  asks Brittany) and hallucinates the most wonderful music video ever- Slave 4 U- complete with skin colored diamond drenched bodysuit, red latex catsuit, tiny mini skirt and yellow giant snake...BRITNEY SPEARS HEAVEN!
I love the way Heather Morris (Brittany) dances- she was a backup dancer for Beyonce and probably many others...her voice is surprisingly decent and she can lipsynch ok too.   This was a really well done part of the show!!!   It was a little creepy that she was dancing over John Stamos in the nude bodysuit and I LOVE her backup dancers- both the grown up ones and the kids!   This is the first time I categorized her as 'hot' - did you see how she dances in the red catsuit???   I want her abs too...

Santana joins Brittany for her next dental appointment because she wants to be put under with Brittany- WOW!   Together they hallucinate 'Me Against the Music' HOT.   Santana is Madonna.   Brittany is, well, Britney.   This is where the rumor that they would have a lesbionic fling on camera came from, I am sure.   I am not into Santana's hair and makeup here, but it's still pretty awesome to watch. Pause at 11:58- DO YOU SEE THE ABS OF THE DANCER ON THE LEFT?   I WANT HER  ABS!!!
And then (13:18) ...ahhhh (cue holy angel music)...Britney slams Brittany against the wall and Brittany says 'You're really hot' to which Spears replied ' You're sweet' 'and your breath smells really good' 'So does yours, and you know why- because this is a fantasy' 'wow'...fade back to John Stamos's office (BTW, nice plug Britney= Fantasy is the name of one of her perfumes).

Next Glee meeting- Brittany announces that 'from now on I demand to have every solo in glee club, when I had my teeth cleaned I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy.   I sing and dance better than her, now I know what a powerful woman I truly am.   I'm more talented than all of you, I see that clearly now.   It's Brittany....bitch.' (why can she say Bitch but when they sang Lady Gaga last season they changed it to freak?).

Kurt is mad Mr. Schu still won't let them perform Britney and rants, 'this club regularly performs songs that are pop culture and Britney Spears IS pop culture- geez let loose a little would you, just stop being so frickin uptight all the time!'.   Then Schu sends Kurt to the Principal's office- cute pleated mini skirt Kurt, and I love that criss cross sweater.

Rachel and Finn, struggling in their relationship, yawn...Rachel has a visit with the dentist, complete with the hottest hallucinated cover of 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' EVER OMG.   I forgot how provocative this music video was!   Britney appears in this hallucination too- and yes- the backup dancer with the FANTASTIC abs is in this one too- in the green sweat suit outfit on her right.   LOOK AT THOSE ABS (18:26 and 18:57) and then of course Rachel makes Finn jealous by dressing like Britney circa that music video. Finn is not happy with this new revealing outfit 'See, they are personifying you!' 'Objectifying.'   And then Rachel becomes mean bitchy Rachel from the pilot- because she tells Finn she is fine if he rejoins the football team- IF HE CAN.

Mr. Schu is having a midlife crisis and buys a corvette (just like John Stamos) and takes Emma for a ride- for 2.5 seconds because Terri suddenly appears in front of the car and yells at him to take it back so that he doesn't burn through all their savings so that they still have money when he realizes his errors and they get back together.   She is terrifying (but she does look hot here).   She calls Emma a home wrecker!   Lol.

'Well Rachel congratulations, normally you dress like a specific fantasy for a Japanese business man with a specific dark fetish but I actually dig this look- yayyy' Santana to Rachel upon seeing her Britney getup.

I really don't want to discuss this because it bothered me, Sue stumbles into Jacob wanking in the library watching videos of his interviews with her, while he is naked- so Sue pulls Mr. Schu aside to tell him (ugh, the sweat stain from Jacob's naked buttocks on the chair) and Sue calls Britney Spears a gateway drug to sexual deviance...obviously not a fan.

Brittany, Artie, Tina and Britney Spears in a Cheerios uniform (?!?) are chatting in the hallway...and Britney tells Tina she is  a fool for dumping Artie.   Tina says she knows and apologizes to Artie, who smirks 'And I'm stronger' and rolls away...Cue the next hallucination music video!  Artie sings stronger- in a football uniform with the football team on the field.   Finn CANNOT dance to this music- but it is admirable that he tries :)

Finn is in the locker room getting ready to tryout for the team again, Artie rolls in, Ms. Biest comes in- and then somehow they are back on the team- making last weeks episode annoyingly useless- and where is the new kid with the giant lips, huh?
When Artie and Finn tell the Glee club that they are both on the team they ask a bunch of questions- and Artie explains 'Yup, I'm on the team, and I have Britney Spears to thank' to which Brittany replies 'You're welcome'.   Cute.  Puck has exactly one line in this episode- 'Wait, I don't get it, how come everyone is having Britney Spears fantasies?'.

So Mr. Schu allows them to perform a Britney song...because he is flip floppy and knows it will aggravate Sue- and he announces that he will perform with them...silence from the kids.   Literally- crickets.   I agree- WTF?   First the car now this, stop embarrassing yourself.

Rachel goes to see Finn in the locker room and tells him she will do anything for him...when he says thanks and gets ready to leave the locker room she totally backtracks and says the only way the relationship will work is if they are both losers- Finn says that he will throw a touchdown and then point to her in the stands to let everyone know she is his girlfriend- but she says he has to choose between her and football anyway.

The homecoming performance- Mr. Schu looks like a total geek.   They perform 'Toxic' and it would be decent- if the creepy adult singing and dancing with them were not present- Mr. Schu totally pervs it up.    Why do I feel like I am watching a high school version of Showgirls and Mr. Schu might push Rachel down the stairs?   Sue gets upset and pulls the fire alarm.   I am annoyed at Jacob...kind of ruined the whole thing for me, sorry.

Whatever, the episode ends much weaker than it started, but Brittany says 'You can fly' in response to Rachel telling Finn to spread his wings and Kurt goes 'Really' and then Brittany says 'Wait, i thought I was the only one doing the solos- next week i will be performing a musical number by Kesha' and then Rachel sings the song 'You Are' (sung by Haley from Paramour and I actually love the song).   I hate how Rachel emotes in this song- what is with the tear sliding down her cheek as she gazes at Finn?   Cue Artie gazing sadly at Asian Fusion Tina and Mike Chang again in the last minutes of the episode.   Anyone else catch Quinn gazing at the back of Puck's head too?

And the episode ends with Mr. Schu sitting in his old clunker car, depressed. Boo hoo.   I hope they do another Britney episode- but this time maybe Britney would be there in reality- not just a hallucination?

Britney songs I wished they had covered:
Not A Girl

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